Memories...

Ten years ago today, I was getting ready to Marry the Love of my Life...my Best Friend and the Person I was going to Live the Rest of My Life with.  Today though, we are not celebrating an Anniversary.  We aren't even together anymore.  And that breaks my heart.  That's not the way things were supposed to work out.  After all, we had a plan for our lives.  We felt certain that God had brought us together and we made a commitment to each other.  We had a home built for us...that we called our last earthly home, which we would share forever.  After years of Alzheimer's Symptoms, he decided he was going to...
abandon me on April 3, this year...2015.

I just couldn't let today pass by without marking this date with a post.  The hardest part is dealing with the fact that the dream has died.  I know he won't be coming back to me.  He's been gone nearly 3 months and won't even talk to me.  Oh, I know that God could work a miracle - one for both of us...a great change in our hearts and minds.  That I know.  And if He does, that would be wonderful.

But, I have been moving on with my life.  I've had to.  I have a house {1650 square feet} a garden with a courtyard, 3 Pups and everything else to look after and take care of.  I have to once again do everything myself.  Now...that's not all bad!  I can do everything my way and there is no one to grumble about it!!  LOL!

Now...don't go feeling sorry for me.  I really am doing just fine.  I've gotten so many things done around here...and have taken care of so many things!  I've been feeling better than ever and the PuppyKids are doing great now too!

We don't sit around and feel sorry for ourselves.  We have our own fun.  And I've been out and about a bit more...made a few friends, found a new church {about 3 months ago} and I even was able to locate a dear friend of mine who I'd lost contact with.  She doesn't have internet...and she doesn't even live near me.  We don't talk often and we certainly don't see each other very often - as a matter of fact, I haven't seen her in over 10 years!  But, we've always been able to "pick up" right where we left off last time.  We've always been that way.  And when I found her phone number after doing a huge internet hunt for her...we picked right up where we were 7 or 8 years ago.  We're ♥ friends.  I'm sure you know what I mean.  It's great to have someone like that.  

So...I'm off to hang a couple of replacement pleated shades, hang a few valances, maybe sweep and wash the garage floor...and oh yeah, make my Strawberry Fields Salad for dinner.  
Jan Tanis
Jan Tanis

I'm Jan and I'm happy you stopped in. Please, leave a comment and follow along..

14 comments:

  1. Hi Jan! I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this but I am so proud of you that you're doing so well. Shame on that Tom! He just doesn't know what he had in you. Will you be able to stay in your home? Glad the puppies have adjusted well too. You know I'm always on your side.
    Blessings,
    Shelia ;)

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    1. Thanks Shelia! There are many things Tom doesn't know and can't remember well. He's confused. And angry. Alzheimer's changes a person. I'm uncertain about staying here or going elsewhere...won't be making a decision for quite some time, unless of course, it's forced on me.

      You're a sweetie!

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  2. I'm so unbelievably proud of you! I'm glad you are my friend..... ♥♥♥

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  3. Jan,
    I love your outlook, I know you have had your share of adjustments, hurt and disappointments, but just look your positive mindset.
    God has been working in your life and I am very thankful and may I say proud of you too!
    Many Hugs,
    Jemma

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  4. Kind of a bittersweet day, Jan. You sound like you have come to terms with things and, actually, you sound much more at peace than you did a few months ago. Sometimes God gives us what we need even when we don't want it-even when it means a gut-wrenching experience to "get there".
    Blessings to you- I am glad you are coping. xo Diana

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  5. Dear Jan, Oh my how far you've come and how so much has changed. I remember meeting you and Tom so many years ago in blogland and yes, he was a different person. Life changes and sometime we just don't understand why~ But you have done so well and lifted yourself up to carry on. Your strength and courage is an inspiration. Not many could do what you have done. Yes, I understand a forever friend that you can just pick up with right where you left off. Those friendships are very special and I am
    so glad you found yours again.
    I am so very proud of you Jan and keep you in prayers always as God works within your life giving you peace!
    Love to you my friend. CM

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  6. Like you stated, a bittersweet day. One never knows what is in store for us, but we keep our heads held high and continue on. You are a strong woman, whom I admire. Have fun with your puppy kids and move forward....xo

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  7. What a journey this has been for you, Jan. You're more than a conqueror through Christ. Conquer on, friend.
    It's a new season! May you live every moment in God's perfect peace, and may He give you much beauty for all those ashes you have endured.
    Love and blessings.
    xo

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  8. I'm so happy to hear you're doing better, Jan! I know just how tough it is to move on with your life. There will be bittersweet days like this and days of joy for awhile and then one day you won't think of him at all.

    Good for you and the pups!

    (((hugs)))
    rue

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  9. Hi Jan,
    I've been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing. I'm sorry that times are bittersweet for you. It sure seems like life throws us curve balls sometimes, doesn't it? And the plans we've made, well, those can so easily end up being something else entirely. Unwelcome changes. But, you are doing great, and have such a positive outlook! You should be proud of yourself for moving forward! Thanks so much for your blog visit today. I really miss blogging and haven't been doing much of it lately, just don't have the heart. And you are SO right about being able to make your own decisions, and not hear anyone grumble or complain! Stay strong, my friend!
    hugs to you and the pups:)

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  10. Jan, I am sorry that you are going through this bittersweet journey right now. You are such an inspiration, as you show the true meaning of walking in faith. Thank you for sharing your life, your love, your heart with us through this blog. Reaching across the miles and giving you a big hug all the way from N.C.! Take care my friend, and have a blessed weekend. Xoxo Debra

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  11. Things surely have changed over the last couple of years for the two of us! I know that this is a year after you originally posted this. I'm glad that you are doing and feeling so well. Thank God!

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  12. Hi Jan! This has been a journey for you, hasn't it? I'm very sorry for all of the heartache and uncertainty you've been through but I'm so proud of you and how you're doing! God is faithful and He has really helped you be strong! You're the sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

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