Today Marks Two Years

Two Years, yes, it's been two years today, since my husband moved out of our "forever" home.  I remember that day well and all the conversations I had with God - both that day and every day since.  I asked Him to help me forgive, to put me back together again, because, let's face it, I was falling apart.  Apart, not just from my husband leaving me, but health-wise, emotionally, spiritually and every way imaginable.

And I stand here, okay, I'm sitting right now...but I'm here today to tell you that God has Put Me Back Together Again!!  He picked me up and healed me.  The shock of a husband leaving, had me reeling...but it was all the other stuff that got me moving.  There was so much to do around the house, that had suddenly been assigned to me to do.  I was about 100# overweight and not moving much at all.  I wasn't sick sick...but I just didn't feel good...I think from all the stress.  It wears you down.  For those of you who don't know me or haven't read my earlier posts, in January of '15, my husband was diagnosed with cancer and metastases.  By early March, after my assistance and finally a biopsy, he was told by the doctor who performed that biopsy that he didn't have cancer.  I had an inkling the day he had been diagnosed with cancer that he didn't have it.  However, everything we heard from the oncologist made me wonder if I was wrong in what I felt.  I know...I should have only listened to God!!  He gave me that inkling for a reason - and it was to battle the oncologist to have a biopsy done, because she was afraid at how frail my husband was.

Then suddenly, without warning - no talk, no argument - his family showed up and moved him 3 hours away.  Up until a week ago, I hadn't seen him and had only spoken on the phone to him a total of 4 times.  In 2 years!!

The fourth time we spoke, he called me and that was about a month ago.  He suggested we get a dissolution.  [In reality it is an uncontested divorce.]  I was stunned, but he never called it a divorce and when I mentioned that that was what it was, he seemed surprised.  You see, he promised me that he would never leave me...never divorce me...EVER.  That was when he was alot more clear-minded, but somewhere in his brain that word was erased from his memory and he could only call it a dissolution.

About a week ago, we arranged to get together, he would come up here where I am...and we would talk to an attorney and take care of tying up loose ends and figuring out how to pay the attorney.  He was only in town for 3 hours and we accomplished even more than I had hoped.  We ironed out everything [now it's in the attorney's hands to get approved by the court].  We even were able to get the money together [from pre-arranged funeral arrangements Tom had done 2 years ago]...they gave him a check immediately, no questions asked, when he told them he wanted to cash it in, not transfer it.  On my list of to-do's for that day, I had at least a dozen things to take care of.  I really didn't know if we would even get through half the list.  God was with us.  I know God HATES divorce, but He forgives...and I am so happy that He has.  We really had a pleasant day together [a good memory], he even treated me to Starbucks and put gas in my car, when he filled up his car.  He was clear-minded that day and drove so much better than the last time I was in the car with him here at home.

He will be served divorce papers via the mail.  And in a couple of months we'll be in court...but that should all go well, since it was OUR decisions that make this an uncontested divorce.  Then it will be all over between us.  Hubby said we can still be friends and call once in a while...and I thought that was sweet.

I just know it's time for us to move on.  I haven't felt comfortable in groups at church [with couples and/or singles] and that's about the only place I go right now.  I am OK with this.  It's a whole new chapter in my life.  I never thought 12 years ago that I would be speaking divorce!  NEVER.  But, even going into marriage with that mindset and God and a godly man, [a 3-strand cord], we were unable to keep it together.

Thanks to all of you who have prayed for me, loved me and cared about me the past couple of years.  Keep me on your list and pray for me, as I do for all of you.


Jan Tanis
Jan Tanis

I'm Jan and I'm happy you stopped in. Please, leave a comment and follow along..


  1. Well Jan I know this must be bittersweet. I don't know you really but let me say that I'm so proud of you!!

  2. I can hardly believe it was 2 years ago already. Wow!!! I remember the anxiety and how bitter you were in the beginning ... and look how far you've come. God has certainly been good to you in spite of what happened. I am glad your latest contact with him was one that resulted in good feelings and healing. xo Diana

  3. Good for you, my sweet friend! You've really come a long way and I'm so glad you're finally happy :)